they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
you had me at cake vodka
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
