You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
