It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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