Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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