this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
