I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
