i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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