There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Two words: blizzard sex
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
