I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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