Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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