I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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