and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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