Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
