Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
