its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
