Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Less talking, more tequila
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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