Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My vagina is officially offended.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
