I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
