Dual....:-)
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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