she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
