i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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