she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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