Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
