dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Randomize
