I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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