I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize