went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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