Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
