You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Just cropdusted the office
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
