Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
