I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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