Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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