Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
