I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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