i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
