so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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