Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
