I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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