Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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