This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Randomize