New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
