You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My balls are so social today.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
