Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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