I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize