garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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