Apparently you make a good broom.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
