He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
