the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
