Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
