Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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