on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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