If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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