She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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