I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
