i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
