He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Randomize
