therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
