so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize