I like to think it a success when the cops are called
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
