Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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