last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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